the process of digging had taken over my body and i had given in to its methodical rhythm.  place shovel, put foot on shovel, lean with all my weight, step back while pushing shovel handle down, flip rocky mud, chop into smaller chunks, repeat.

i would do this along the length of the area i was digging out, then would start over at the beginning of the line…and do it all over again, working my way to the end of the area.  it was about three-fourths of the way through a line of slightly concave marks in the rocky soil that i realized i had lost something i used to treasure greatly in the process of growing up; because my son said, “it looks like a monster with giant teeth came and took a big bite out of our back yard!”

i paused…looked at the work site anew…and with the eyes of my son saw all of life again.  i remembered when life was more than work, when simple places had magical potential and when i played with the best toy ever…my imagination.

i then went back to shoveling.

…and said, “do you think he liked the rocks, the dirt or the worms the best?”

“the worms!” said my son with that kind of laughter that’s mingled with a little bit of “that’s gross and cool all at the same time” .

in deuteronomy, god tells the israelites to talk about what he had done for them with their children as they got up in the morning, walked along the road and as they laid down at night. 

as i was reminded of his mandate to dad’s everywhere, my son and i talked of goliath and the anakhim in the old testament as my shovel made its rhythmic sucking sounds…and the giant ate the worms in our rocky soil, and we helped each other see the world as it is a little more clearly.

the irony is that it is within our grasp.  the tragedy is that we fail to take hold of it.

i believe that the primary problem is that we desire to be different; while remaining exactly the same.  let me explain:  i love food.  i really love food.  i also would like to lose 8-10 lbs.  i don’t want to eat less or healthier; nor to change my daily routine – i just want to magically weigh less.  i love fishing/hunting/camping, all of which requires tackle/gear, which requires money.  i would love to have more money in my savings account for that “rainy day”.  i don’t want to give up good tackle though.

now do you see what i mean?  i want to be different while remaining the same.  sounds stupid, and it is; and yet this is the way most of us live.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (II Timothy 1:7 NLT)

do you feel too weak to change, too afraid of failing?  God has given us the power to change, to be self-controlled.  trust him, and make the changes he’s calling you to make.

just realize that you will have to change the way you live your daily life, to choose to not eat as much as you would like; to not spend as much as you would like; to not play as much as you would like – so you can hold your wife and kids more, be in better shape, have more savings… be the man you want to be.

my wife has been against this idea for several very good reasons:

1. she sees the inside of the same walls every day, how would having all the kids home all day long every day be relaxing looking at those same walls?

2. i’m a pastor…work follows me around like a puppy you just gave a hot dog to.

3. it’s her one chance to actually travel

i could bore you with my side of the issue, but suffice it to say…we finally stayed!

and i was punished for it.

ok, not really punished, i actually chose to do the things that i did.

we wanted a garden where grass was, we wanted grass where rocks were and we wanted raised herb gardens where the compost pile had been. (read “we” as “she”)

give my wife her due, she was no slouch.  she worked hard right beside me every day… as long as the baby was asleep…so two hours or so a day.

truck, trailer, wheelbarrow, sod-cutter, hand tamper, string line, string level, 4′ spirit level, tiller, pick-axe, shovel, spade, hoe, garden rake, circular saw, cordless drill, impact drill/driver, 4″x6″x16′ PT lumber, etc., etc.  oh, and a whole lot of hard work.

by the end of the week, we had tilled up the garden area, put the sod in the back yard and are about 80% done with the rest of the projects.  shuffling out on 800mg of skelaxin (sp.?) pain medication, I stood beside my wife and looked proudly upon the fruit of our labor, but the most enjoyable thing about it was that we had done it together.  after the day we got married, and the deliveries of our children, i have never been more proud of my wife than during those hours when she shoveled rock beside of me.  what a team!

“for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (gen. 2:24 niv)

i don’t know if we will get to stay-cate again, or not – but i know i love my wife more for our very first stay-cation.

i am currently flubbing through typing this post, because of three bandages on my hands (one a manly brown, the other two neon green…’cause i have kids).  there were five guys working together this morning pounding in fence posts for a new third baseline fence at the little league park across from our church.  two blue collar, three pillow hands.  it was all manual labor, and we all took our turns on the fence hammer.  15 posts.  my hands hurt.

it was at about post #12 that my blisters burst and fingers bled, but i just had a friend cut off the loose flap of skin with my pocketknife, and kept taking my turn on the fence hammer.  i had to adjust my handhold, but i would not let the job beat me, i would not quit becuase of a little discomfort, i would not be shamed by the rebellion of my own hands…it would instead become my glory.

all 15 posts submitted to our work.  all 5 guys are now tired and sore.

in life there are times when we can make excuses (even legitimate ones) and bow out of the fight, but it is at precisely those times when we can choose glory over comfort.

we can spend our lives making excuses, and making those around us have to work all the harder; or we can spend our lives making a difference.

my grandad had a saying on his desk.  it said, “when the going gets tough, the tough get going”.  which will you choose, to step back or to step up?

pick up your cross.  it’s time to get some work done.

on the rear bumper of our carolina blue, 1976 f150 pickup truck he had this sticker.  it was a simple black background with white text that said, “may the net force be with you”.

you got to understand, star wars was huge then…for the first time and people everywhere were familiar with the phrase, “may the force be with you”.  you also have to understand that my dad didn’t put bumper stickers on his vehicles.  ever.  until then.

so apparently, in physics-speak the net force is the difference making force.  10 pounds of force vs. 12 pounds of force from the opposing side has a 2 pound net force.  yeah, i know.  dork.  in asking him why he felt that of all the bumper stickers in the world, that was the one he broke down and put on his truck, his response was underwhelming.  he simply said, with a bit of a quirk to his smile, “well, that’s the only force that ever makes a difference.”

in later years, i inherited the truck (which i loved) and the bumper sticker (which i didn’t… ’cause i don’t put bumper stickers on my vehicles.  ever.  yet.).

in theological terms, we call it prevenient grace.  the grace that goes before/ahead.  it basically states that god didn’t leave us in a state of depravity in which we could do nothing but evil all the time, and neither did he elevate us to a level wherein we could never choose to deny him and sin.  he enables a moral balance in the christian in which our will is now empowered to make the difference.  is satan as strong as god.  no (read “no” with a lot of guffawing going on on my part), but he restrains himself to give us room to choose.

you are the one that makes the difference.  you are the net force.  god-enabled, yes, but your choice, your will, your responsibility.

what if the phrase were used though in conjunction with an awesome gift…like a 3 horsepower cabinetry tablesaw from sawstop that magically doesn’t lop your hand off when you try shoving it through the blade at full speed.  awesome gift!  “now jimmy, you know your aunt gracie spent a lot of time saving up to get you that tablesaw, the least you could do is…be overwhelmed by the sacrificial love of an aunt who gave up so much that you could have something truly nice.”  yes, you’re right – that is the least that I could do.

one of my favorite passages in scripture is when king david is going to make an offering to god in atonement for numbering the fighting men of israel.  david is told by an angel to offer to the lord a sacrifice on this guy’s threshing floor, who finding out why david wants it, offers it for free as well as the oxen and the wood.  david’s response is core to his being a man after god’s own heart.  he says, “i will not…sacrifice a burnt offering that costs me nothing.” 

 it’s got to cost me something to be meaningful.

what have you been offering god of late?  has it cost you anything?  has it been a sacrifice? 

it is the “thought that counts”.

the problem is that we seem to be striving to be average instead…and failing even in that.

here’s what i mean, the average man should consume approximately 2800 calories a day.  the average man should have a waistline that is half his height.  the average man should exercise 3-4 times a week.  the average man is uninspiring.  who wants to strive to just be average, normal, mediocre?

so tragically, we don’t even strive anymore.  we eat the box of hot wings…all by ourselves.  we squat 200 lbs. but only when we get out of our lay-z-boy recliner.

great deeds are never accomplished by average men.  greatness is only achieved by great sacrifice, and only great men are willing to sacrifice.

here’s the thing…each of us is capable of being great!  of being in great shape, of being a great dad, of being a great husband, of being a great christian.  of being a great man.

stop settling.  start striving…but not for average, average is lost in a crowd.  great men lead the crowds.

i arrived @ 5:40am to discover that it is way too dark to fish effectively with a spinner (panther martin 1/16 oz. holographic rainbow trout), so I got my waders on and waited in the driver’s seat while listening to country music (there’s no better fish-catchin’ tunes than country music), not until it got light enough to see, but just long enough to not be able to resist the urge to turn the headlights back on and start fishing!!

unfortunately my last lure of my favorite type (see above) got hung up on the opposing bank within the first five minutes, and I had to fish the rest of the time with a far less savory type.

it was a steel-gray pre-dawn with snow/sleet piling up on my army jacket, and I had to leave by 7:10am to make it back in time to fix breakfast for the kids and get them to school.  there was time for just one more cast (thoughts of the previous year’s final fishing trip came boiling back up when a similar situation lead to a 16.5″ inch fish of beauty).  I made the perfect cast, to the perfect spot and reeled at the perfect speed…and wham!!!

my lure hit the eyelet at the tip of my fishing rod.

driving home with my arthritic right hand held in front of the heat (it was pulsating in pain from the 32 degree cold it had endured), i realized something…i love fishin’!

jesus told peter, the most famous fisherman of all time, follow me and i will make you a fisher of men.  peter did, and jesus did.

do you love fishing for men…you know telling others about jesus?  do you get all excited and roll out of bed too early, throw your stuff in the car and cast your story out there time and again eagerly anticipating the sudden tug on someone else’s heart that jesus brings?

sometimes you don’t catch…but that’s why it’s called “fishin’”

then i tried it…and it worked!  it actually worked!  i was no longer veering back and forth and back and forth and…

the apostle paul tells us that we are to “fix our eyes upon” what is eternal.  i know, you’re thinking the same thought i was thinking, “that’s way too simple to work”…yet it does.

we men naturally follow after that which we focus on.  start fantasizing about that woman at work, and you will eventually follow after that desire, wrong though you know it to be.  start focusing on your career and you will soon be frustrated every time your wife complains that you aren’t spending enough time with the family.  on and on it goes.  whatever we focus on in this life will become an idol to us.  we will find ourselves gradually drawn to it, only to jerk away and be drawn to something else.

our activity in this life will only stay on course when we are focusing upon the goal of this life – the next one. 

want to stop veering all over your life?  stop focusing on your life.

there are great truths there:

1. preparation is more important than determination

2. the time to prepare is before the time to perform

3. the significance of the task only heightens the significance of the tool

i also believe that there is a valid point that touches in a tangential way the sharpening of the axe.

we men are great axe sharpeners!  we love to find out 10 ways to be a better worker, to be in better shape, to be a better dad/husband/son, etc.  in short how to increase our potential.  now take the axe.  the sharper the axe, the greater the work potential.  the more easily the tree will be chopped down and the more joy the user will have in wielding it, but ultimately, all that is increased is its potential for work, for good…or for evil.  that sharpened axe that will split a cord of wood can also split a skull. 

the real question is who is wielding the axe?  whose hands is it in?

we men can be bigger, faster, stronger, smarter…better at any number of things, but what really determines whether or not a man is a better man is whose hands he is in.  have we yielded so that jesus can wield us?